The Cost of Saying “I do”
Let’s start with a story about one of my favorite couples — Susan and Jim.
Susan was thrilled when Jim got down on one knee and proposed during a weekend getaway at Lake Michigan.
The couple had dated since college, and Susan had been casually planning the wedding in her head since they first met.
She wasn’t a diva or bridezilla, and she laughed when she read online that the typical wedding cost more than $33,000 in 2020.
She and Jim both had savings accounts, and her parents were chipping in a little bit, but the “typical wedding” would mean they were starting their marriage with $0 in the bank.
That number is outrageous, she thought. She wasn’t envisioning a royal wedding. All she wanted was a reasonably nice event for about 90 guests.
Wedding planning consumed her life for weeks, as she began pulling the pieces together to hold a church ceremony, followed by a reception at a hotel in their hometown near suburban Chicago.
She compared florists, caterers, cake bakers, photographers, wedding coordinators and began dress shopping. Her flower budget began ballooning as she got quotes on what it would take to spruce up the interior of the church. Her photographer squashed her vision of beautiful outdoor shots in a nearby park because of the probability that it would be cold and rainy.
And as she started crunching the numbers, she realized that her allegedly low-key wedding was easily going to hit that (in our opinion) criminally high cost!
The hotel venue was charging nearly $200 per person once gratuity was included (90 x $200 = $18,000). Photography was going to be $500 per hour (3 hours x $500 = $1,500), big city pricing. Her dress was going to be $1,700. Then there were flowers ($2,000), a suit for Jim ($400), a DJ for the reception ($1,200), the cake ($500), etc, etc, etc.
In case you’re not doing the math in your head, Jim and Susan’s special day was already going to cost $25,300, and we haven’t factored in the cost of invitations, the rehearsal dinner, the honeymoon, the engagement ring, or the time taken off work in order to coordinate the Big Day.
As she stared at her spreadsheet, Susan had an epiphany.
Why spend the equivalent of a down payment on a house on an event where she was going to have to cut corners at every turn just to stay within her budget?
That’s when she called us.
Instead of the hotel wedding in the suburbs of Chicago, Jim and Susan got married for a third of the price on Anna Maria Island, one of the country’s top-rated beaches.
They trimmed their guest list down to 30, keeping it to closer family and friends who they knew would love the excuse to escape Chicago and revel in the Florida sun for not just a few days, but a whole week.
Their vows took place on a Monday in November, and it was 75 degrees and sunny, while back in Chicago there was freezing rain. They had spent the weekend leading up to the ceremony lounging on the beach, playing volleyball, and hitting the beach bars that dot the Florida coastline.
They held their reception at a restaurant overlooking the Gulf, which provided a stunning backdrop as the sun set and they laughed and danced with old friends. Once everyone left to fly home, Jim and Susan stayed in Florida three more days as a built-in honeymoon or ‘Wed-Cation’ as we like to call it.
- Total cost: Under $10,000
“Our friends still talk about our wedding as one of the most fun they have ever attended,” Susan said. “We didn’t break the bank, and it turns out, people love an excuse to go to the beach.”
Jim and Susan are a great example of stepping back, evaluating what is most important, and making decisions that reflect your priorities.
Their priorities were to (1) bring together the people they loved, (2) for a weekend they would never forget, (3) at a cost that would help (not hurt) their marriage.
(Remember we talked earlier about how marriage preparation is more important than wedding planning? Jim and Susan show us how true this is. They knew that once they got back from the honeymoon, life’s demands would be waiting for them. So rather than spending every penny on wedding knickknacks they saw online, they ensured they had plenty in the bank for a down payment on a house. You can do the same.)
We have found that couples often relate to the priorities and budget decisions made by other couples. While Jim and Susan are a great example, we know that every wedding is unique. You may have read the story of Jim and Susan and found yourself nodding along.
But they are just one example of the couples we’ve walked through this process with.
We’ll give you plenty of other examples in the next section. You and your spouse may be more of a “Scott and Linda” or “Mary and Greg.”
But first, let’s talk about rough dollars and cents.
Setting a budget
Before you start scoping out locations, trying on dresses or scouring Instagram for bachelorette weekend party favors, you will need to set a budget.
Set expectations: If you walk into a car dealership and say you want a brand-new car for $5,000, you won’t leave a happy customer (or with a car). No matter how great a haggler you may be, you aren’t going to receive a car for that price because there are certain basic costs that can’t be avoided.
It’s the same thing with a beach wedding. You should expect to pay anywhere from $75 to $150 per person for a beach wedding. The most bare-bones ceremony and reception still involves the beach permit, seating, an officiant, setup and teardown, and some sort of food/reception option.
Trying to go any cheaper than that, and you are likely to end up starving your guests.
The vast majority (80% or more) of our couples settle for a budget roughly in the $100 per person range for the ceremony and reception.
As we’ve said, a Florida Gulf Coast beach provides the world’s greatest ambiance for a fraction of what you would pay at a country club or hotel, so a beach wedding is a great way to stretch those wedding dollars. And if you opt for a club or hotel, $150 per person is usually the starting point, not the high end.
One caveat to keep in mind as you read this: These rough numbers are solely for the events on the day of the ceremony. This doesn’t include travel costs, buying a dress, rings, or the honeymoon. Those can widely vary depending on the couple, and we are trying to provide proven estimates for how you should approach and budget for this day, rather than a specific blueprint to follow.
The Minimal Budget: Scott and Linda
Like Jim and Susan, Scott and Linda’s biggest priority was saving cash to use toward a down payment on a house.
The couple was paying for everything themselves, and they really didn’t want to spend more than $3,000 for everything.
Is it even possible to have a wedding for $3,000?
Absolutely. Here is what that would look like: Our simplest ceremony on the beach runs between $1,500 and $2,000, depending on location. That leaves (roughly) $1,000 to $1,500 for the reception.
What does that get you? The day would begin with a ceremony on the beach, completely set up and run by Gulf Beach WeddingsÒ. This includes your chairs, decor, permitting, setup and breakdown, and an officiant to preside over the ceremony.
After the ceremony, you and your guests will head over to a local restaurant of your choice, where everyone can order their dinner off the menu. Depending on the menu cost, you could even throw in one drink on the house, and then let your guests know that dinners on you but drinks are on them.
For Scott and Linda, they picked a restaurant where they knew they could stay within the $40 per-person price limit, including tax and tip.
If this is starting to sound appealing, that’s because it is, particularly for couples who want a beautiful and memorable day, without breaking the bank.
Here’s is Scott and Linda’s general price breakdown:
The beach ceremony, put on by Gulf Beach WeddingsÒ: $1,750
Dinner at a local restaurant for 30 people at $40 per head: $1,200 (this can be a section of the restaurant, deck, etc.)
- Total cost: Under $4,000
This is a great package if your top priority is your guests having fun, and you haven’t been dreaming of a fairy tale ceremony since you were five years old. If your guests are likely to heckle you during an emotional speech at a formal reception, and you have a tight budget, this is the best route to go.
But keep in mind the things this arrangement doesn’t include:
The ceremony will be simple. This package doesn’t include bridal flowers, a live musician (recorded music is provided for the ceremony) or photographer. It will be beautiful, trust us, but simple. Your guests will be responsible for their own transportation to/from the ceremony & reception.
At the restaurant, you will be mixed in with the public, and you aren’t going to be dining at Florida’s finest spot. You won’t have the privacy or intimacy that a private room or venue would offer. Toasting the bride and groom may be tough, depending on the size of your group and the indoor/outdoor atmosphere of the restaurant.
Remember, we aren’t including travel costs, the dress, invitations, etc. So, if you are still going to have a tough time coming in under budget, the easiest place to find savings is by lowering the number of guests.
If a simple ceremony with a handful of close family and friends is what you are looking for, many of our couples do this with a dozen or so guests. That cuts your food bill to a third of what it would be.
Scott and Linda opted for this type of wedding. They spent just under $3,000 on their day-of events, had a great weekend with friends, and they had plenty to use toward the renovation budget on their new house.
The Middle Budget: Mary and Greg
Mary had always dreamed about her wedding day. From when she was old enough to put a pillowcase on her head and walk down an aisle of stuffed animals, she had been excited to get married.
When she and Greg began planning their ceremony, it became evident that some of Mary’s childhood fantasies may have to be set aside.
It wasn’t that they had to have a bargain basement ceremony in Vegas, but as they looked at vendors it became clear that there was no way they could have a string quartet at the ceremony, a tented ceremony with a live band and floral arrangements worthy of Martha Stewart. Then, they contacted us at Gulf Beach WeddingsÒ.
They wanted the beauty, romance, and tradition of Mary’s dream wedding, but wanted to stay on budget.
They went with the Wedding Dreams option that roughly 50% of our couples opt for. This is a fantastic avenue for anyone who has the cut-loose attitude that Scott and Linda did, mixed with the sentiment that says, “Hey, it’s my wedding day.”
For roughly $115 per person, you get the beach ceremony, complete with setup and breakdown, the chairs and officiant, along with a few vendors who are making the day extra special.
We say “vendors” because it really is up to you. Mary and Greg opted for the basic package, plus a musician to play steel drums, along with a photographer and videographer to shoot photos for an hour during and after the ceremony.
The couple ended up with a ceremony on Lido Beach near Sarasota, followed by dinner in a private room at a restaurant in St. Armand’s Circle within walking distance of both the beach ceremony and their hotel.
The beach ceremony, with musician, photographer, and videographer for 30 people put on by Gulf Beach WeddingsÒ: $3,450
Dinner in a private room at a local restaurant for 30 people at $60 per head: $1,800
- Total cost: $5,250
The All-Out Budget: David and Simone
David and Simone had dated for nearly a decade, so when they finally got married, they wanted it to be unforgettable.
They had been to countless weddings during their years together, in other weddings, and both made mental notes as to what they liked. They had plenty saved up for the day, but David knew from talking to friends who had married in country clubs or at hotels just how limited the options were and how quickly they could burn through their savings.
He also knew all the ways these types of venues like to fleece couples on their wedding day. He had heard horror stories of how the unexpected “fees” and “service charges” ended up costing his friends thousands.
That’s what brought the couple to us.
They opted for a beach wedding on Pass-a-Grille, the south end of St. Pete Beach, with all the decor options for 70 – a steel drummer, plus two hours of photography and videography, full floral arrangements, and a champagne toast.
Instead of dinner at a restaurant, the couple rented a banquet hall with a dance floor at a private venue and had dinner catered. A DJ served as master of ceremonies, orchestrating the toasts, and dances, and the couple got the night they had dreamed of for nearly 10 years.
The beach ceremony, with all the bells and whistles, for 70 people put on by Gulf Beach WeddingsÒ: $4,650 + $1,000 estimated custom floral arrangements
Banquet hall, catered dinner, DJ, and drinks came in at $100 per head for 70 people: $7,000
- Total cost: $12,650
Wrap up
These three couples are examples for you to keep in mind as you build your budget.
Jim and Susan had their priorities straight. Fun first, budget, and let’s use that extra savings on our new home. All costs were borne by the couple and some serious ‘DIY’ options to combine the fun and limited budget on their Wed-cation with no compromising!
Scott and Linda let the natural beauty of the Gulf Beach take care of the atmosphere, and they trusted their friends could cut loose and have a memorable night without them orchestrating a formal reception.
Their priority was on saving, and with friends and family all being together in a beach town for the event, they knew good times would be had and didn’t stress about the reception.
Mary and Greg fall into that middle ground that many of our beach wedding clients do. They have the independent streak that is willing to break with formal tradition, but they also want the big day to have some of the familiarity of the ceremony that they have always dreamed of. Their priority was on spending wisely, but also picking and choosing what elements they wanted.
David and Simone had been around long enough to (a) save up money for the big day and (b) know what they want and ‘splurge’ a little. We have several couples that also receive a stipend or some type of assistance from parents/family in this regard. This is their one and only Big Day, and they want it to be special no matter the price!
